Well…I’m back.


So said Samwise at the end of the Lord of the Rings trilogy. And my absence from Canoelover’s blog has very good explanations if not excuses.

2015-07-29 10.15.49There are only so many words in a guy’s head, I think, and I have been selling them rather than giving them away. I guess this makes me a verbal capitalist. But the truth is, I don’t mind getting paid for what I would do anyway for nothin’. So Canoe and Kayak Magazine has hired me as a staff writer, or as editor J.M. says, “You’re in the stable.” Like a horse: or a jackass. Either way, they hired me. It’s fun. I’m working on two boat reviews for next Spring and Summer issues.

I also started writing a column for Midwest Silent Sports, as their former paddlesports columnist retired and decided it was too much work to come up with something every month. I’ve written about 15 columns for them since a year ago in the Spring, but only a handful are on their website…not sure why. I like a deadline and the discipline that comes with it. You must produce.

Besides, the filthy lucre that comes in the envelope with the generic corporate check goes to a good cause. It is used to pay down the old credit card. Now that Wife 1.5 ain’t working outside the home, cash is a little more scarce, and we still like to travel, so we have to be frugal about putting aside resources for traveling.

On top of that, I’ve been lacing a lot of snowshoes over the past year or so…I’m up to pair 47, I believe, so that means I laced about 18 pair last fall and winter.  Now three sets are in progress; two medium pair, one varnished and one waiting, one small about 3/4 varnished, plus a frame waiting in the wings. Once I sell those I can buy some more materials and get busy with more lacing.  Snowshoes, all 18 pair, mostly paid for a trip last Spring to Istanbul. P.S. It’s really cheap to go to Turkey and the people are lovely.

2015-04-04 17.50.03

A lot has transpired since I last wrote on here. As alluded to, Wife 1.5 quit her teaching job after 20 years. The kids are lovely, but the administration leaves a lot to be desired. I’m naming names. Jen Cheatham, Superintendent of the Madison Metropolitan School District, is an embarrassment and a pathological liar. I was planning on running for School Board just for the joy of holding her accountable for her many screw-ups and a profound lack of empathy. But Wife 1.5 is still healing, and she needed to be away from that drama for a while. If Dr. Cheatham (don’t worry, she doesn’t do house calls) is still here next year, and one can only hope not, I’m running, and I’ll win. Because as my little friend Kahlil says, “That’s what I do.”

2015-07-07 14.48.55One of the benefits of Wife 1.5 not working is that I have my wife back. The one I married disappeared into a painful fog last year, and only now do I see just how much the succubus of a superintendent sucked life out of her.*  Wife 1.5 is gardening like crazy. As if it’s possible, she over-planted tomatoes. Oh, the joy of home-grown ‘maters. She over-planted summer squash and zucchini, meaning she planted any at all. She planted the zucchini variety that should be called Calabasa Escondida, since we’d check every day for squ ash that are ready to pick and suddenly, after lifting a leaf, we find a zucchino the size of a baseball bat, and just as woody.

I sold a few canoes and bought a few canoes. Replaced a Wenonah Minnesota II (43 pounds) with an Island Falls 18 Wilderness (closer to 75). I traded lightweight for aesthetics. Probably stupid, but I’m not always rational about canoes.  Daughter 1.X asked me which canoe I loved the most. I said all of them.  She said I couldn’t love all of them. I told her “They’re canoes, not women, so I can love all of them I want to.” I’m a polycanoeist but that’s where the poly- ends.

Anyway, I’m going to try to be more diligent writing here. So long as I don’t run out of

Respectfully submitted,

Canoelover

*Okay, I need to curtail the ad feminam attacks. But she is incompetent.

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